The Same Old, Same Old

I sat outside on our back step talking to my dad the other night as Pancakes the cat wound herself around my neck and the sun set painted the normally white farm buildings orange.

"What's new?" he asked as always.

"Nothing, really," I began. I explained we are still in a strict lockdown. The farm is still closed to visitors. Kevin is still working from home. Ellis still off school (though the little two are back). Not much had changed in the year of these chats. I'd even unloaded a pallet of flour earlier that day, echoing my late March life of 2020.

I have felt very stuck the last few months and if I am honest, probably a bit depressed. There is a sort of relentlessness to our day to day - the structure and routine of it is the same every single day. A life that I loved and purpose built around our passions and interests has felt suffocating at times. There hasn't been a break in it - no trips as a family, no Grammie America visits, no drinks with friends. There have been many days where I have got through my to do list by the skin of my teeth.

But those back step 20 minute conversations and dark thoughts are only the elevator pitch round up of our life. It is hard to convey more than the headlines in a few moments. It misses the nuance of progress, subtlety of shifting seasons and the gratitude of Spring.

Of course a lot has changed in the last year and so much of it good. Last week, I delivered my first leg back goat kid, where I had to push her back in and adjust her presentation to save the kid and mum. The wild garlic I sowed that first year we moved here has come up in a carpet in that muddy corner of the garden. I planted 40 raspberry canes and a 75 asparagus crowns and 50 strawberry plants. Ellis wears the same shoe size I do and Georgia is almost as tall as he is. I learned how to make Asiago cheese, a killer Caesar dressing and pivot a business and keep it going in some pretty challenging times. I am more excited for the garden than I have ever been and the goat kids this year are top levels of cuteness.

Nothing changes, but also everything does, even if it doesn't fit in the elevator pitch.

Take care

Kat