The How Not To Guide

Do you ever feel like your life is a series of "How Not To..." guides?  

For example: How Not to Make Biscuits with A Baby and Preschooler

:: Place baby on countertop next to preschooler and mama.  While staying focussed on her not falling off as you get the ingredients together, realise you left the toaster plugged in and she is sticking her fingers in it.  Thank the gods of cooking and survival she still has all ten digits.

or How Not to Make a Last Minute Gift

:: Realise you have roughly 4 hours to make a promised hat for a birthday gift.  Start working with the last of your last boyish yarn.  Don't measure anything, finish it off and realise you made it in the wrong size.

or How Not to Make Valentine's Crayons

:: Purchase a heart shaped silicon mold off of Amazon.  Only realise its an ice cube mold after it melts in the oven.

or How Not to Sort Socks

:: Give them to the children and husband as a "super fun matching game".  Watch as they are thrown of the 'train' that looks suspiciously like the armchair onto the baby's head, who then decides that she must taste every last sock.

or How Not to Use Natural Family Planning

:: Have 15 minutes when both children are asleep.  Mutually agree that there is "probably nothing to worry about".  Get a positive pregnancy test 2 weeks later.