Redreaming

I have recently re-red the Big Stone Gap books.  Wait a second.  Was that just a sigh I heard over the internet?  Yes, I read chick-lit...well, its not completely chick lit, I mean its not based on shopping (my second least favourite past time after putting away laundry).  But, unashamedly, I really like the homey, southern, quaintness of these novels and I am going to tell you I was actually inspired by them.

In the 3rd book, the main character is told that when her dreams come true, she needs to re-dream.  One of the things I love best about having children is how focussed you become on the moment...the ever-present mindfulness that is required when a small person is at your side. However, it is easy to be immersed in the day to day with no real focus on the future.  Big plans have faded away to comfort and stability.  Career ambitions have been outweighed by security. Big successes of my own have faded into the background for Ellis' milestones (mastering the art of drinking the milk left over from cereal is this morning's major achievement).

I don't begrudge the loss of my own self-centred world view.  In fact, I know I am a better person for having to step into the background. But I can't get lost completely.  Children grow up and at the end of the day I still need to be a woman, as well as a mother.

But even with another child on the way, I can't help but wonder what else my future holds. So I guess its time to re-dream...