Dear Ellis

Dear Ellis-
Sometimes, I wonder if you know how much I love you, because a lot of the time, I don't think I even know how deep my love is. 

Truth be told, if, before I had you, I had to pick a baby off the shelf I admit I would probably have picked quiet, fat and placid.  But what I got was so much better. So I am writing to say thank you for the chaos.

Your independence is awe-inspiring.  Your focus and determiniation is second to none.  The amount of energy you have on quiet days could meet the renewable energy targets in the new Climate Change bill (though, I hasten to add it would in no way be classed as 'clean' energy). 

No matter what I may say at the time, when you use my fabric as a blanket to play sleep just when I am cutting a pattern, I think its quite funny.  Every time you you SO politely say "'scuse me" as you push me out of your way, I chuckle just a little bit. Exasperation mixes with pure wonder at how quickly you can make a mess and take off your clothes...sometimes at the same time. 

You have helped me be a better person.  You see, I am more of a straight laced, mental order and lists kind of a person.  I would not normally jump in puddles, play in dirt or start a dance party at 7am.  I would normally be anxious and worried that I should say no (or worried that someone else thinks I should say no). 

But you never tolerated that side of me.  Your incandescence blinded me to the mental images of what ifs and who saids.  I live more in every moment that I have with you than I ever lived before. Everyday, you teach me a new lesson in letting go, in patience, in love, in limits, in joy and sometimes in frustration.

And so, I am grateful I didn't get that quiet, peaceful baby.  I can not thank you enough for arriving in my life with such a bang and then continuing as you started.

I love you.  I love you. I love you.