Probably just in need of a good cry.
Its been a hell of a day. I had the midwife’s appointment today and my BP was 130/90. Which is high. Now when I laid down it was lower, so that is a sign that its not pre-eclampsia, yet, but I have been instructed to cut out all caffeine, sugar and white flour and eat more protein. I probably knew that I needed to do this anyway, but I guess I was living with a false sense of security.
We also agreed it was probably largely stress related. Lets face it, I am not a relaxed person. I never have been and probably never will be. The things I worry about amaze me. For example, last week I was in a COMPLETE state that we didn’t have any nappies in the house if baby arrived early. So I forced Kevin to go out and but a selection of reusable nappies. We spent a fortune only to realise later that if baby DID arrive this early, a)the nappies wouldn’t fit as baby is too wee and b) most people buy them at the grocery store, where we go EVERY WEEK, so no hurries. This is why I was never a brain surgeon.
At the moment, I am particularly worked up about a number of things, the primary candidate being the dog. She whined and howled the entire appointment with the midwife. One and a half hours of “AROOOOOO” does nothing to lower the blood pressure. I am actually getting to the point where I don’t want people to come round to the house, because she is so badly behaved. I even worry about her at night and when I am away. Then when I am at home, she is always into things and a rarely get a moment’s peace.
Then there is the worry about what happens when wee baby arrives. How on earth am I going to cope with dog and baby? Alone.
Of my other worries, going off work is particularly high on the agenda. I haven’t finished all that I need to and I am concerned about being alone. I decided to go off early as we have a family history of being fast cookers and baby arriving before due dates. Well, I am going off at 34 weeks and really worried about being alone for a month and what if baby arrives late and its even longer!
Well, after the MW appointment, I had various chats with various people and it seems like its going to be best if I go off next week. Technically I will be working at home, finishing up the paper I need to write, but trying to take it easy. Oh, and obviously following Kevin’s relation regime outlined below.
You know it’s a shame that I only write blogs when I have had a stress or something’s gone wrong. Maybe I can only articulate when things go badly. Maybe the only things I think are memorable are those that don’t go well… or maybe I am just in need of a vent. Would probably rather not go too deeply on this one, but would like to let everyone know that I am actually happy, I love living in Scotland and couldn’t have planned for things to be better in my life. I just enjoy a good bitch and moan!