1. Yesterday, whilst having lunch with Kevin at his work, a childless male staff member came to see the baby, who, at that very minute, was fussing as I latched her on.  I have never met said staff member, don't know what he looks like, but as he walked up to us and leaned over my shoulder he got a full view of my right breast.  To say he ran away screaming is only a slight exaggeration.

2. My breakfast most mornings is cold porridge, eaten out of the pan as I can't seem to get time to eat it hot.

3. Little girl spends much of the day asleep in her sling.  I have not figured out how to put deodorant on once she is tied on, nor have I yet to remember to put it on before I wrap her. 

4. I make beautiful, but very gassy and quite sicky babies.  Two people in two days (both with children themselves) have jumped in astonishment at the amount of baby sick little girl can produce.

5. The combination of 3 and 4 means that we smell quite badly.  If I see you in public and I back away from hugging you, its me, not you.

6. Little Girl has some pretty impressive aim with said sick and the other night it ended up inside the back of my trousers.

7. Though we do not watch the show, Ellis insists on listening to the LazyTown soundtrack on Spotify over and over.  I never knew it was possible to dislike fictional characters so intensely. 

8. Most days, I can not get Ellis dressed.  Every neighbour and delivery person has seen my son in his birthday suit. 

9. The cats keep bringing us 'presents'...bloody furry or feathered gifts from the countryside.  Which, being the tough sort of person I am, is what it is, but it doesn't stop me from jumping everytime I see one of Ellis' brown toy animals lying on the floor.

10. Playing with one's food is getting more and more extreme here.  I was not allowed to clean up these crisps, because they were required for helicopter landing.