The kids and Kevin have been ushered out the door this morning and I have an insane list of to dos today- it includes things like booking venues for more Capturing Childhood workshops (yay!), packing kits, ordering supplies, finishing designs , pattern writing and emailing approximately 1,000,000 people . I always have to laugh on days like this - remembering when I used to work in public heath and the civil service and being "just so busy". Oh, if I had only known!! But that same thought brings in waves of gratitude. I did like the jobs, but it wasn't MY work.
And this is. All of it. Sometimes I get so stressed and caught in the details that I forget to be amazed and grateful. Having read a lot about start ups, I know I am in the stage that comes after the adrenaline filled beginning. That point where the business is doing well, but you hit a wall - exhaustion sets in, growth needs to happen, staff need to be hired, but the turnover simple isn;t there to do it and so you push - far beyond the limits of what you thought you were capable of. You do it because it has to be done. There isn't a choice, so you submit and bend yourself to fit the task.
Kevin and I were talking this morning about whether or not we would be where we are without children. I think not. Parenthood has taught us that lesson of bending. How many many times over the last 6 years of motherhood have I wanted to run because it was too hard? Countless. How many times have I wished I could just ignore the middle of the night cries, thinking there was no way I could get out of bed again? How many times have 1 or all of my children pushed me far past the limit of tolerance and to the brink of insanity? A lot more than I would ever admit here. But each time, I have had to dig deeper than I thought I could to do what had to be done. As someone who used to always choose the easy path, this was a lesson I needed to learn so I could stand where I am now. Is it parenting a pre-requisite for everyone running their own business? Of course not, but it was the path I needed to take to get here.
I know that after this dip, things will change again, so all I can do is push through, dig deep and never leave the house without crochet.
And so I will... and try to remember to be grateful as I am ironing 150 labels onto kit bags at 3:30 tomorrow morning.
Photos: peonies from my garden, the perfect yarn for a design (Fyberspates Vivacious), the grey and mustard combination I love (thrifted linen napkins and grey beads). It is amazing how such small things can give so much pleasure.
if you are local, don't forget to pop by this weekend and next for Open Studios! Ellis is selling lemonade! (oh and there will be crochet on display!)