I am burnt out. Fried to a crisp with nothing left to give.
It happens: the soaring highs and bone crushing lows. I have been here before and know that it is something that will pass. That meal after meal of "X" on toast will give way to the meals that I normally love to eat and cook. We will find the floor of the house again. I will be able to work and parent without feeling like I am dragging myself through mud.
I have learned that that only way to get through burnout/block, is to be still. I used to rally against it. Fight to push myself to DO, when I barely managed to just BE.
Of course it always comes at the worst time. I have been pushing myself creatively and loving it. Learning so much, with so much to do and achieve. This time, burn out feels more like slamming into a brick wall than just petering out.
Perhaps its a sign of maturity that I no longer struggle against it. I know it will pass. And so I wait. I do the small things that still excite me. Get out, take pictures, read. I tick only the most basic things off of the to-do list and look forward to when productivity returns. Danielle LaPorte likens it to Savasana in yoga, the corpse pose, spending a moment integrating and being still...
...and waiting for the upswing.